Why has technology made dating so complicated anymore? What happened to the authenticity of asking someone out on a date vs. asking someone to hang out. Why must we plaster our relationships online for our friends, family, and complete strangers to see? Once it’s out there, it’s out there forever. If communication is one of the top factors needed to have a successful relationship, why is all of our communication via emotionless text messages and Snapchat stories?
Technology was supposed to make our lives easier and I will admit that it has in some cases but in others, it made it way more difficult. Dating is one of those cases. Here are some ways that I feel technology has changed the dating world:
“Do you want to go on a date?” vs. “Do you want to hang out?”
First and foremost, I have never actually been on a date. I’ve hung out with guys plenty of times in my adolescent and young adult life thus far but not once have I been asked out on a date. I was born in 1992 so my childhood was mostly spent outside playing while the preteen and adolescent years were a mixture of outdoor fun and indoor fun (accompanied by my Super Nintendo, PlayStation, and GameBoy Color). I have a bit of appreciation for the simpler times. At least back then (well maybe more in the 80s than the 90s), you actually asked someone to go out on a date. The conversations were more like: “Hey Sarah, I really like you and was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me on Friday night?” vs. “Hey Sarah, want to hang out on Friday night?” What does that even mean? When I hear the words ‘hang out’ I automatically think you only see me as a friend. I’m not saying that you have to propose to me by asking me on a date, but we all know that a date holds more weight than just hanging out. Don’t be afraid to ask someone out. For real.
Lack of Communication
Nowadays, everyone is consumed by staring down at their phones and barely paying attention to what is happening around them. In terms of dating, everything happens either online or through text messages. As a teenager, chat rooms and online dating sites were seen as taboo. I remember when my mom had me watch a special on Dateline NBC about how young girls fall prey to creepy men pretending to be teenagers online just so they can lure them to their homes, get them drunk and have their way with them. As dangerous as this was and still is (as this continues to happen), at the time I brushed it off. “That won’t happen to me. I’m smart enough to know not to meet in person with a stranger.” Now? That’s the whole purpose of these dating apps and online dating sites. Eventually you’re going to have to take the flirtatious messages and possible sexting offline and apply these to the real world.
Talking to someone in person seems way more taboo than it used to be.
No one wants to talk to anyone anymore. Why? Are you so afraid of being vulnerable in front of someone else or confronting your emotions in accordance with them? Also, what is with this awkwardness of talking to someone over the phone? I remember talking to former crushes until 3 in the morning and going to sleep feeling super giddy and bashful because I could hear their voices and hear how he was feeling. I didn’t have to guess what he meant by his text messages because he was able to tell me. It doesn’t seem like people have the ability to be genuinely open anymore.
There are more things that I could speak of in terms of dating but these two are the ones that stood out the most when I really thought about it. I have been guilty of both of these in the past but I’m 24 now. Genuine feelings and expression of said feelings are something I need out of a relationship. I want to go on a real date and have meaningful, goofy, intense, and stupid conversations. Texting is all fine and dandy but if you tell me you love me through text message, it’s over.
awkward musings of dani 